ADHD & Doing Nothing in Particular
There are many symptoms of ADHD that are commonly overlooked. One that is commonly overlooked is something called Time Paralysis. Time Paralysis is the name we give for when someone is stressed, stuck, and/or anxious about an event that is later in the day that they end up doing “nothing” until that event happens. Often, the individual feels great pressure to effectively manage their time. I’ve most commonly seen this occur in higher pressure meetings with bosses or professors. The client will often accept a meeting time of 3pm and spend the whole day doing very little as a way to be ready for that meeting later in the afternoon. This down time is usually used to overthink and hyper-analyze the meeting and all the things that could go wrong. For those with lower levels of anxiety, this time may be spent more aimlessly. This phenomenon may also occur with lower stress activities like a package scheduled to be delivered and signed for.
Missing deadlines, forgetting to bring an assignment to school, and things like this are common occurrences with ADHD. After a few mistakes and sincere efforts to correct them with little positive change, shame and frustration tend to pile up. Some part of them adapts and decides that they won’t let this type of thing happen again. This is where time paralysis is born for many of us. It is a clever adaption to a difficult problem that comes with a great cost.
The major issue I often see is that individuals come up with better solutions to those original problems of forgetting to turn their assessments in, but they still have difficulty getting past this time paralysis. A challenge here is that the adaptations made to not lose track of time are often not done voluntarily. In fact, it’s often distressing for someone to have free time and not use it when they had just one meeting towards the end of the afternoon. They told themselves they could get so much done and rest. After the meeting, they are often fatigued and feeling guilty that they were unable to do more with their day. Rather than do laundry, study, finish some work, or spend time with friends, they spend the day watching the clock to be sure they don’t miss that meeting. In today’s world, it is rare to have a day without any sort of plan or meeting, which might mean that this individual goes weeks without a proper break. This pattern of behavior and the responses from their environment starting at an early age commonly manifest in excessive guilt and the fear that they are always doing something wrong. This can accelerate them towards depression and burnout.
Is there any way around time paralysis?
By setting rules for yourself, yes. Part of me working with people with such challenges is to identify if they fit into this pattern. If they struggle to be productive if they have a meeting around 3pm, can they practice taking up more space to build a schedule that works for them. With the shame they commonly experienced that we referenced earlier, we often see an eagerness to be easygoing. This presents as saying yes without time to reflect if that actually works for them. All the times they felt like a bother when they had missed assignments or lost something results in them taking “easy social wins” wherever they can get them.
The challenge here is that it likely makes little difference to your boss or professor when you meet. They likely offered the next available time they had. And without thinking, the person with ADHD just accepted that time slot. So, if this was something a client was struggling with, we’d work to pause in those moments and ask if there is an earlier time available. That way we can protect time and space to do the things we wanted to do. This would be the first rule: Set your appointments for a time that does not sabotage your wellbeing (if possible). Of course, certain things may not be able to be rescheduled, but it’s certainly always worth a try if this is a notable barrier. It may be more stressful to practice being assertive, but things like this get easier with practice.
When using the first rule, I would also encourage not giving too much detail. Rather than giving the backstory of what you need and why it’s a challenge, practice just asking, “Do you have any slots available earlier in the day?” That’s all. By making it simpler, it will be easier to practice and have success.
The second rule is broader. It is: Practice solving your problem when you are not under active stress. So often those of us with ADHD will aim to solve crises while we’re in them. Even though people with ADHD are often good at that, it’s still not best practice. Instead, reflect on where you get stuck and how you might approach it differently. Ask yourself what barriers are there and brainstorm how you could work to overcome them.
Perhaps you can set lots of alarms or recruit help from a roommate or loved one to remind you when you have to leave or join a call. I strongly suspect anyone reading this is quite capable of coming up with an executing on a gameplan to help themselves. A major challenge is that many of us with ADHD often don’t look that far ahead to put these skills into practice. We can change that with intention.
The third and final rule: Rhythm, routine, and external reminders. If time paralysis is something that is a common occurrence, it’s likely that your schedule has gaps or less typical features that make it difficult to take advantage of the more flexible time. This is likely not something that can be solved quickly if it is for a class or work schedule. However, by leaning on rule two, we can reflect on how we can make adjustments if possible. Then, reflect on what you’d like to do with your more flexible time, come up with strategies to get you back to your scheduled commitments, and explore what activities you could put in that flex time without losing yourself. For example, if you love videogames and play with a headset on, odds are that a simple alarm across the room won’t capture your attention. By reflecting on what you would like to do during your down time, you will come up with great options for what you could do during these windows of time.
After deciding what you want to do in those down times, practice it. Make it part of your routine. And set external reminders to keep you on track. Generally, if your external reminders are easily ignored, it’s time to get one that is more obvious. Sticky notes for example can easily be ignored as part of the background after even just a few hours. By implementing some of these rules, practicing, and succeeding, it is possible to have that stress and anxiety lessen to the point that time paralysis is far less impactful.
Citations
Mette, C. (2023). Time Perception in Adult ADHD: Findings from a Decade—A Review. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 20(4), 3098. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph20043098
Written by Dr. Luke Bieber on December 5, 2025.
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