Making Memories: A Path to Happiness
One of the most common themes in therapy is that people want to feel happier or more content. They want to be living rather than just surviving. These days, more than ever, there are so many awful things happening in the world. So many feel less safe and are less safe than they once were. Many of us do what we have to do and retreat into familiar comforts. This is what we often do to endure. Taking care of yourself and loved ones while surviving to the next day can be an overwhelming task by itself. If that is where you are currently, this article might not be best suited for you. Instead, I would encourage finding additional support and/or talking with a professional. When you notice that you have a bit of extra energy or time, then I would consider aiming to make positive memories.
Sometimes when a friend asks us what we’ve been up to, we can’t think of anything as it seems like we’ve been doing the same thing each and every week. If that is the case, odds are that we aren’t feeling good. One of my favorite research supported ways to enhance wellbeing and our moods is to create more positive or even neutral memories. If you suspect that there are bigger mental health challenges present, it is best to address those alongside taking the steps to create memories.
Many researchers have studied and written wonderful guides on this subject. Meik Wiking, author of The Art of Making Memories: How to Create and Remember Happy Moments, is one of the leading experts on the subject. These recommendations below are inspired by my clinical experience, his book above, interviews, and several other researchers.
What to Focus on?
The best path seems to be to do new things that capture your attention and to share these others whenever possible. Novelty can be difficult for us to find in our daily lives. If you enjoy cooking or going out to eat, simply experimenting with recipes or trying somewhere new can be a great start. For my clients, I encourage them to at least aim to do one thing each month that distinguishes it from the last. I’ll write about this in the future but doing something that aligns with what’s important to you is a wonderful way to make it stand out. If you care about helping others, this path has so many wonderful opportunities to make memories while making a difference.
Some ideas include:
Inviting someone who you suspect is lonely over for a meal
Asking someone of a different upbringing than you to teach you something that they are passionate about
Doing some work for someone who is struggling to maintain their home
If these sound bigger than what you’re willing to do right now, we can always aim smaller. What’s something you could do that is a bit different than what you normally do. Even sneaking food into a movie theater like you did when you were a kid would absolutely count.
For those of us with memories that aren’t the best, taking pictures can be great ways to document these memories. If you choose this path, I’d encourage that you revisit these photos after each season. See what you did that you liked. Tell someone about what you did and/or simply remember it.
The biggest thing to avoid is multitasking. You want to be present to make memories. Even if it’s boring, you might be surprised how uplifting having distinct memories to mark the passage of time can be. If you’re someone who is always listening to music or podcasts, consider setting aside some time just do one thing. If you’re able, working with your hands can help this entire process flow smoothly. By engaging as many of our senses as we can, you are increasing how likely you are to be making a memory. The same is true of our emotions. I wish you the best of luck!
Written by Dr. Luke Bieber on July 18, 2025